1.
"I
told
my
wife
she
was
drawing
her
eyebrows
too
high.
She
looked
surprised. "
【笑喷语录】

2.
"I
tried
to
catch
some
fog
earlier.
I
mist. "
【笑喷语录】

3.
"Why
was
the
math
book
sad?
Because
it
had
too
many
problems. "
【笑喷语录】

4.
"I
went
to
buy
some
camouflage
trousers,
but
I
couldn't
find
any. "
【笑喷语录】

5.
"I
told
my
wife
she
was
expecting
too
much.
She
said,
'No,
you're
just
not
listening. '"
【笑喷语录】

6.
"I'm
reading
a
book
on
the
history
of
glue.
I
can't
put
it
down. "
【笑喷语录】

7.
"I'm
reading
a
book
on
antigravity.
It's
impossible
to
put
down. "
【笑喷语录】

8.
"I
told
my
wife
she
should
embrace
her
mistakes.
She
gave
me
a
hug. "
【笑喷语录】

9.
"I'm
on
a
whiskey
diet.
I've
lost
three
days
already. "
【笑喷语录】

10.
"I
told
my
wife
she
was
overreacting.
She
flipped
a
table.
That
wasn't
even
hers. "
【笑喷语录】

11.
"I
used
to
play
piano
by
ear,
but
now
I
use
my
hands. "
【笑喷语录】

1
2.
"I
told
my
wife
she
was
acting
like
a
flamingo.
She
told
me
to
put
a
sock
in
it. "
【笑喷语录】

1
3.
"Why
don't
scientists
trust
atoms?
Because
they
make
up
everything. "
【笑喷语录】

1
4.
"I
told
my
wife
she
was
shouting
out
random
numbers.
She
said
they
weren't
random,
they
were
prime. "
【笑喷语录】

1
5.
"I
told
my
wife
she
was
drawing
too
many
pictures
of
sodium.
She
said,
'Na,
it's
just
one
more. '"
【笑喷语录】

1
6.
"I
told
my
wife
she
was
addicted
to
brake
fluid.
She
said
she
could
stop
anytime. "
【笑喷语录】

1
7.
"I
told
my
wife
she
was
terrible
at
math.
She
said,
'That's
a
lie,
I'm
average
at
best!'"
【笑喷语录】

1
8.
"I
told
my
wife
she
was
drawing
her
eyebrows
too
high.
She
looked
shocked. "
【笑喷语录】

1
9.
"I
told
my
wife
she
was
making
too
many
jokes
about
pizza.
She
said,
'That's
a
slice
of
life!'"
【笑喷语录】

20.
"I
told
my
wife
I
was
going
to
make
a
pencil
with
an
eraser
on
each
end.
She
said,
'That's
pointless!'"
【笑喷语录】

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